Nigtly Visitations

So, ClaraBelle and me had our 15th wedding anniversary. I knows what yer thinkin, "Shouldn't there be a space between them words?" Well, no. So go get some idea of how ideas are ideared and move on. Plus, it keeps confusion down tween her and our cousin, Claira Belle.
Anyhow, ClaraBelle and me haven't seen each other since our family reunion/divorce party 8 years ago. Last times I seen her was at this party. We's always used to get together fer family and to celebrate any divorces. ClaraBelle takes a big drag off her Virginia Slim and tells me, she says, "I don't never wanna see you round in public again!" So's we keep thing on the hush-hush. I's go to the club to sees if she's workin. And, sometimes, even though I sees her truck there, she ain't. But I other times I waits till shift change and sees her. She gets all happy, tellin me how she'd like to see me doin stuff - you know, kinky stuff like jumpin outta the trees and stuff. I don't know how deep she wants it, but damn that makes me hot. Other times we plays hide-n-go-seeks. She's ain't no good at it, cuz I can hide in my trailer, with the porno goin n everything, and she's just not tryin! She's finally got me some letter from the cops wantin me to only see her in private, too. We's can't be anywhere near 500 yards. She's loud.
But that makes our oldest child 'proachin bout 6 years of age. Now granted, he's got webbed feet and I'm not sure why he's got a vagina, but I stills like callin him Bobby Bob. And he stinks. Whooooo daddy, he stinks! It gotten so bad, ClaraBelle tells me, that she don't let him even into the back o the trailer no more. He's got a cot strung up between the tool shed and the work shed, with a fancy double-decker corrigated dresser fer his fixins.
Sos, Bobby Bob ain't doin so well with the schoolin. ClaraBelle been sayin it's Autism, so I went over to his house and beat up his daddy. Still no change. That made me angry, so I beat up his cousin, and that seems to have been doin tricks.
So, like I was sayin, ClaraBelle and me and our anniversary. I was family night at the local club, and I knowed that ClaraBelle was workin that night. AND, it's private there - I mean, when she's workin, ain't no one in the club! The manager gives everyone stage names. He states he gives em all names with meanin - he must be super literate! Her's be "Elsie". They likes to end in the letter "Y". The kids hadn't eaten in four days, and they have the best seafood buffet this side of Red Lobster. Plus, I still had some singles left over from my workers comp and they were burnin a hole in my overalls. And I'm on my last good pair of Sunday overalls.
So, I scream to the kids there, "Hey! Kids. Mom, or sis, or aunt, or ex-step-mom, or my special lady friend, .... oh the hell with it! Jump into the car, ClaraBelle's out tonight!" So, wes loaded up the back of the '72 F350 (special made with Elivs grill. I only take her out on special date nights) and made a b line straight to the club. You know, I's never gotten anything over a "W" on my report card, and I still don't knows why I can do a good B line. Shouldn't there be some sorta connection?
I must got a job there, too, cuz whenever I show up, they gots a special name for me. Asshole. Oddly, it don't end in no "Y". But they always sayin, "They ClaraBelle, that Asshole's here. He wants ta see ya. Come take care of him." They must know wes got a real deep relationship.
The doorman didn't want to let me take in the family once we gots there. I tried to explain to him with my fists that some wanted to see mommy workin her best, others wanted to see sis struttin her stuff, others needed milk money from ex-step-monster, etc. But I guess my figgurin fists weren't as expressive as his 160 pound stomach. I don't remember much after that, but I do knows the kids took care of him - jumpin on him and kickin and bitin and whatnot. Sos we just dind't get in, but wes got in fer free! The kids did their school best, b-linin it fer the buffet. I sat down n got a beer fer everyone. We all shared some great Budweiser, watchin ClaraBelle pop that top o hers. I think Jonny Bob got the best view of all, cuz he ran straight fer the bathroom, holdin hisself all the way when shes was done.
Course, our finest in blue came bout 10 minutes after wes entered. Couldn't believe how much they wanted to support our troops! They's telled me that I had to come wif them 'cuz I was makin some sorta scene. I ain't even an actor! Sos, we loaded up and I went to their 'scene', which theys kept calling 'scene of the crime'. It was just outside. Where that fat dude was still on the ground. Then, they took me to another set - my old familiar jail cell. I'm still amazed that the director could get that fer me. And how good he hid the cameras!
Don't know what happened to Jonny Bob. I's only guessin that he went home to look after the dogs. I knows the kids came down with the flu. They were throwin up faw fish chuncks for days afterwards, so I'm told.
The good news: ClaraBelle came to pick me up! It was three days later, cuz she claimed that she dont' have no money to pay for my loser ass. But I knows she's lying, cuz I stuffed at least $6 into her g-string that night. Sos I's gotsa punch her a few times to show her how much I gave her and how much I loves her. After some good makeup punches and sex, I'm guessin the next addition's name'll be "Gunther Joe".