What are RedNeck Reports?

I'll let Don himself explain, sort of..


"Once upon a time, there was a person. He needed a job. He needed a job really bad. He needed a job so badly, he moved to Ohio.... Ok, that's enough laughing.

Anyhow, our hero decided that, since he was in Ohio, and everyone else was elsewhere, it would be best to write about the happenings in our hero's life. Yes, he was a nice guy. No, not much was happening.

So, anyhow, as he wrote, strange things started happening. And, as a part-time journalist would do, he started writing it down for people. Since he had free mailing capabilities, he decided to mail to anyone who was willing to read his adventures. That was about two people; himself, and the bum who lived nearby.

So, after writing and writing, he moved back to Michigan.

Well, as things would go, life went on. Our hero, now in Michigan, suffered many a bad winter. That is the way Michigan is. Lots of trucks, little thought. It started to impede on our hero's brain cell. In fact, his brain was actually replaced with packing peanuts. Sure, they're great for distractions, but I wouldn't expect them to carry a stunning debate....

As time would have it, our lonely hero put his talents to work .... well, not actually talents, but .... ok.... so he's eating whipped cream from the freezer, but who asked you?!? He started to help out friends with their variety show (as if variety you mean... well... different stuff) in order to "feed his creative demands."
Now, life is good. Sure, no real Redneck Reports anymore, but who needs 'em! The end...."

Yes, this blog is a Historical Chronicling (tm) of the infamous "Redneck Reports" that were "penned" by Donald "Slurry" Murphy in the last throes of the twentieth century. They pull no punches, and frankly; they are an uncontrolled off-the-tracks train ride through the subconsciousness of a potential madman.

They are the feel good diatribes of the 90's. If you can only read one series of dementia-fueled reports this season, this is the collection for you. Its "over-the-top dope sensibilities" engage the reader in a dualistic dance with wit and idiocy that sweeps you away into an age where good triumphs over evil through a series of unintentional hilariously painful pratfalls. Redneck Reports have been described as "Jackie Chan Meets the Fiddler on the Roof, but replace the fiddle with several cans of silly spray."

Don, as it turned out, became respectable. But let this fact not distract us one whit from enjoying the Thompsonesque diatribes I am about to let loose here.

Don only put some of his Redneck Reports on the web, and it is those I am carefully and lovingly extracting and reproducing here for your reading pleasure. It is my honor and my duty to unleash this onto the masses. Because you deserve it


-with respect;
Jebby