Monday, June 25, 2007

Tiltin Hilton: less fun than a nut-burrowing tick

Well, slap my ass and call me stinkybutt, that flat-chested puffy-lipped pre-pubescent pain in the posterior is being released from the slammer already. Not much older and certainly no wiser. Yes, Paris Hilton. She's the answer to the question "what if someone was dumb, selfish, rich, spoiled, AND ugly as a stillborn weinerdog?

I guess you kin tell, I tain't no fan. I like em pretty. Or smart. Or thoughtful. Or friendly. Or something. Hell, the tick burrowing into my enormous nut-sack when I sleep nekkid out back in the shed after nailing my cousin Mabel has more beneficial characteristics. At least I feel SOMETHING in my balls for that deal. Sure it's a sharp burrowing pain, but it's still more erotic than any sensation I could get from Tiltin Hilton.

Take a board, put lipstick on it, dip it in shit and then wack yourself in the head with it and I think you've just had more fun than if you were forced to hang out with Paris Hilton. I guess if you tilted her head down and let her slobber all over my rock hard giant sky scraping hotel in the dense curly underbrush of my loins; I'd like her more. Then again, no, I could go out and pay some homeless whore to give me a suction-hump, and I'd feel much better about it, knowing I wuz helping out charity and all. I'm a Hue Manitarian. In fact that's one of my fake aliases for when I meet high school girlz at the Motel 6.

Paris Hilton, the only woman alive who makes Pauly Shore's skin crawl. And that's saying something.

Gotta go, the latest Nicole Ritchie naked pictures are included in this months "Rhythm & Cooz" and I want to be first in line! Say you say me! All Night Long! All night!

-Geoff-Bob McBackBacon