-Jebby
The news keeps saying that George W. is on "vacation". Let's not go overboard here. He's not on vacation. He's been grounded. That's right. Grounded. No t.v. and no White House for a month. Why? There could be a multitude of reasons. He might have broke a precious vase. Maybe he let the cat out when it's an inside-only cat. Or, he could have "accidentally" sent a few people to the "chair" without Cheney's permission. Of course, he could have also sneaked out of the house, stolen Air Force One and joined his daughter in one of those Hollywood parties which she's just been busted at. Nothing would get Mama Bush much more angry, let me assure you.
Whatever the reason, he's now on his ranch, playing "Let's Build". Sounds like fun. I can picture him, sitting in his room, p.j.'s on, looking over a mock up of his ranch. Barely missing his glass of warm milk, he jumps up, and, with his big toe, digs a "Nature Trail" through the middle of his property. Why? Once again, no t.v. That means no Nintendo, Atari, IntelliVision, Rikki Lake, Geraldo, Larry King, Barney, the Jeffersons, and (gasp!) Jerry Springer. That is probably the kick in the pants for him. Think about 30 days without Springer. What that must be doing to his mind! He'll never know the joys of finding out that there's people who date their moms, and the husbands/fathers who are angered over it (well, one was actually a male lover, but let's not get into that one). What else could Georgie do? He already dug up half of Texas - part of it to find no oil, the other part to find a really bad baseball team. Now, he might as well have a "Nature Trail". See? He loves nature! He loves it so much, he wants to make it all man-made and commercially sponsored.
I have an odd feeling, though, that Cheney preplanned Georgie's "vacation". This administration love to have things preplanned. Take this as example of what I mean. First, the veep choice. Cheney knew who he was going to pick. So, he told Bush that he'd form a committee to "look into it" and who does he "pick"? Himself. This administration does things backwards. They have the answer, then backpedal to find their reasons. I have a sneaky suspicion that, even though Georgie is desperately trying to form the words on his "decision" on stem-research, the decision is already made. He's talked to the Pope. He's talked to Cheney. He's talked to some guy with $60 billion dollars waiting to be donated. Now, the reasons fall into place. Either that, or he's hoping that the American attention span is smaller than his I.Q. I'm not sure which is worse: A president who already has an answer, then tries to say that he's "listening" to the people to form his decisions, or a president who waffles, picking his decisions form the USA Today polls. Have you ever seen some of these people who read USA Today? How they find their homes is unknown to me. Maybe their addresses are pinned to their shirts. Like Reagan.
So, Cheney sent Georgie to his room without any desert.
At least he doesn't have to worry about having to watch MTV for a month. It's their 20th anniversary, and so far, it seems that every two decades, they remove one of the letters from their broadcasts. This time around: Music. With the way things are going right now, I'm pretty sure the next thing to go is Vision. Soon, they'll just be Tele-ing around commercials. I mean, come on now, have you seen some of the crap they put out as music lately? I know that "music is circular", but can't they just remove the downward cycle which is commercial pop and throw it into the gutter which is so sorely deserves to live?
Have you listened to the radio lately? You can hardly hear a good Hank Williams tune anymore. It's all this wanna-be music of "Young Country". "Young Country". That's musicians who couldn't even make it in the world of pop rock. Now, they're trying to entice listeners of Old Country and stupid people to watch bad movies about Pearl Harbor. Dream on!
Although, I do have one prediction: Brittany Spears is the next Elvis. The parallel are far too obvious. Both grew up in a trailer in the south, and pretty much stayed there. Both are pretty slimy when it comes to personality. Both only want to be popular; the desire seems to be so much that Brittany wears socks around her arms in order to attract more homeless bums to her faction of "fans". Most of the people who listen to both are a small age-group, yet they will stay tuned for the rest of their lives. I'm sure in about 10 years, Brittany will weigh 260 pounds, stuck in some music review, singing the same 8 songs which she sings now. Remember, she is trying to break into movies, just like the King, and there's the massive amount of Spears impersonators floating around the world already. Granted, most are strippers, but think of the sings, man! Damn straight she'll be addicted to a lotta crap, too. But that doesn't mean it won't stop. Oh no. I just had a contact with the Holy Rev. Schnake, who has given the following prophesy. It's quite scary, and I suggest that if you have a weak stomach, don't read it! In fact, I tried to change my phone number so I wouldn't have any contact with his Holiness. But I didn't do it fast enough and he calls me nonetheless. The bastard!
Anyhow, here's how it went: "In thine year 2278 (that's 123 S.D.), a largeth faction of the House of Brittany shall breaketh off thine Timberlake Church. They shall congregate back to Las Vegas, capital of the Free-Roaming States of America, to watch videos of their leader as she playeth at the same hotel which she shall playeth for the remaining 50 years of her career. "This groupeth shall have revivals of Brittany, trying to evoke Her spirit. It shall be deemed a 'convention'. A second faction shall meet nearby, cheering the prophesy and miracles of the Fabricated Five." (At this point, the Holiness wasn't exact as to which band may be the "Fabricated Five". I don't think it makes much difference, pick whichever you want, it's all the same. That's the one neutral - positive would be asking too much - point about "bl"O-Town; they don't even pretend to have an organic origin. They revel in the fact that they're corporate wing-dings.)
"A great battle," Rev. Schnake continued," shall ensue. The Army of the Fabricated Five shall clash with the Spears Army half-score times. Each time, the Army of Spears shall fight back the Fabricated Five Army. But much blood shall be shed upon the Earth and much heartache shall be given."
Rev. Schnake, who has been correct on many things - such as the fact that he's got to work in the morning and the lawn must be mowed - said that the vision was even too dark for him to continue. I was hoping he was telling the truth. It goes on. And on. I won't get into the Brittany Laws and the Brittany Nation. Just be thankful that right now there's only a Brittany Spears. Fear when it hits Brittany Gun, my brother.
There is a positive light to all of this. The upcoming war of 2278 will decimate the two factions. This will leave the way for the winner to appear: The KISS Army.
OK so let's look at some of Don's comments.
1. Bush is on vacation. He's done this a lot since he got into office, making Don's words truer than they should be, much to America's dismay.
2. "This administration does things backwards. They have the answer, then backpedal to find their reasons." Again, Don is spot on, this is exactly how this administration has acted ever since 2000.
3. "I do have one prediction: Brittany Spears is the next Elvis." I have to admit Elvis wasn't photographed wearing a kilt with no undies, but Brittany did seem to slide into the bloated addled state of fat Elvis. She might recover though. Modern stars seem to have more opportunities to come out of that spin.
4. "a largeth faction of the House of Brittany shall breaketh off thine Timberlake Church.." yes it's hard to remember now but back then Brittany was hooked up with Justin Timberlake. And she no longer is.
Don alludes to the Reverend Schnake but he is just being modest, I do believe many of his predictions came from himself and he's giving Friar Schnake credit.
I look forward to the formation of the Fabricated Five merely because it means the coming triumph of the KISS Army.
Until next time;
Jebby
